Being Friends With Your Ex: Expectations Vs. Reality
My best friend slept with my ex should I forgive him? - The Student Room
12 Jul I hugged her probably for the last time in my life as I walked out of her dorm room with my jungle juice in one hand and pride in the other. With that said if you're reading this ex-best friend/current overly informed stranger, I forgive you and wish you both the best. If you're happy, I'm happy, but you are sadly. 5 Mar When you and your friend are both in the “OK” camp, it can work if they date your ex, or you theirs. When you and your friend are both in the “off-limits” camp, it's great — it simply doesn't happen, because you both agree it's not a good move. However, when you're in different camps, and a friend dates your. 27 Mar I split up with my ex a year ago and quickly started dating. I met someone nice, but within weeks I discovered that my ex and my best friend had started a relationship. When I found out, I felt a rage I had never experienced. I want to forgive them but I can't. I feel betrayed: it's eating me up and affecting my.
She was graduating with her degree and exhibiting her work, so I went to see her, asking him to come along for the trip. After the show, we went to her bar where she worked, and on the car ride there, he began asking her for directions.
Being already drunk, my friend began acting and saying obnoxious things, to which he began yelling, calling her names, and to which she yelled back. It became obvious there was some sexual, flirtatious tension in it all, which I definitely noticed. When we arrived at her bar, she began dancing on the bar, drinking more, etc.
He here not come inside, sending his friend to tell me he was sorry, etc. I asked them both if they were attracted to each other, and they both said no. But I am having a very hard time letting this go and forgiving, much less forgetting. I have deep fears that they are in fact, together, that I should have said or done something, or that I could have stopped this by acting differently. I am very confused and Should I Forgive My Best Friend For Hookup My Ex very hurt by this.
Whilst I appreciate that it would not be nice to discover that they are together, what can you do? With two personalities like theirs, they kinda deserve each other.
These narcissists are a hop, skip, and a jump from crackerjack central and the best thing you can do is run for cover. Switchy at the best of times — attentive and adoring one moment, aggressive, arrogant, and out of control the next.
This was aggressive, sexual tension! A total and utter disrespect on the parts of BOTH people! She sounds out of control! If they are together, there is nothing you can do and it is further evidence that you are well shot of the pair of them. The only person that you can control is you.
You should be asking yourself why you want to be with a narcissist. You should be asking yourself why you want this friend back. You should be more concerned with why you want to allow people to mistreat and disrespect AND take the blame for it too! You have to let go of trying to find some comfortable place with the situation so that you can either get with him or your friend.
It's entirely your choice whether you keep your 'best' friend. I rolled my eyes. You can't forgive him until he has done something over the top for you. I told her about Chris as I stood in the bathroom getting ready. Show 25 25 50 All.
The person you need to forgive…is YOU. Deal with your own issues about why you want this guy and put some closure on the situation. We choose men that reflect negative things we believe about ourselves and if you want to be with a narcissist and were deeply in love http://hookuptime.me/ga/girl-and-boy-hookup-dress-up-games.php him in spite of his behaviour, that in itself shows that you have self-esteem issues and poor love habits to resolve because being with a narcissist is an abusive relationship.
You have to let read more of him, her, your unresolved feelings, face things, and move on.
Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way. They had been close friends for the latter half of my dating him we dated a year and a half and I later found out that there was an overlap between when he and I broke up and when they got together. It was quite tough to do as by that time the three of us had many mutual friends and she was my roommate I kicked her out of the apartment and sorority sister she lost so many Should I Forgive My Best Friend For Hookup My Ex as a result of her actions towards me that she ended up leaving the sorority, too.
I guess what I am saying is that I have been there and know how tough it is, but believe me and NML you are better off without them and they are more replaceable than you might think.
BESTFRIEND TRIES TO DATE MY EX & LIES ABOUT IT! (CAUGHT)
Once you shed them, then you will have more free time to spend on people and relationships that are worth it. Keep these posts coming! There were so many times I was going to bail. I SO regret not following that gut of mine that has never led me astray! He was good though! I give him that! I fought him off for months then gave in! Angela, the choice is reasonably simple. Or, you can decide you want a mate, someone to build a family with.
And set your sights on a guy with character, someone that would make a good co-parent. You cannot have it both ways. This guy is not respecting you or himself, and that seldom changes for the better. In her work at the bar she picked up some bad habits.
Whether she is at fault or not is irrelevant. Keep your attention focused on your guy, and the fundamental reasons that he is or is not Should I Forgive My Best Friend For Hookup My Ex for you. Suspicion of cheating is a terrible thing. When there is no cheating, the accusation may never be cleared up, and remain a permanent taint on everyone.
You can decide, not to forgive him, but to accept that he is who he is — and that you want to keep him with you. Forgiving means that he is contrite, he regrets his mistake, and intends to correct his behavior, and also that you trust his resolve. The real issue here is whether you now decide you need someone with stronger character. There is a lot of reference to click here in your story.
I have found that people with a drinking problem cannot tell the truth. This is different than lying, lying has a point, something that a person wants to accomplish. An alcoholic seems to utter untruths without cause. Just like gossip, nothing good can come of it. How do you forgive what happened under the influence? Accept that whatever happened, happened. If you wish to continue with the values and lifestyle you held when you met your best friend, then I would apologize to her for accusing her unfairly.
Or you could deliberately choose to improve your character, and focus on honesty, honor, respect, and discipline when you choose who you will spend time with. NML is exactly right. And he and she are definitely asshats. They both disrespected you so badly that of course you are angry a year later, I would be too.
But, if you were to get an apology, knowing what you know of them, could you trust it? Would it be enough? I just about killed the two of them on the spot. I was furious, caused a scene that to this day has me never returning to that bar. Was it worth it to yell and freak out? At the time, hell ya. She was a fair weather friend at best, And well, he proved himself totally unworthy.
I never got Should I Forgive My Best Friend For Hookup My Ex apology, only excuses. I say, write them a nasty ass letter. But get out all the anger cause that is what is really holding you back. They are weak, and more insecure than any of us.
Sorry, this kind of stuff hits a nerve with me obviously. But, I have learned that people have their weaknesses, and some you can live with, some you have to live without. This is a live without situation, you are much much better off. They just mosey along, and here surprised time after time.
Glad you are trying to let go of some of the anger.
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice. I do not care how much you claim to love her, I promise I love her more. What age is too late? The person you need to forgive…is YOU.
Anger is hot, heavy, and interferes with joy. Some people assume it, some people think it must be earned, and some people blindly sally forth. I am realising, as I get older, that trust HAS to be there from the get go.
So, Chris just admitted to technically being a pedophile. And I was shook.
Innocent till proven guilty. Your gut will always tell you. Trust, honesty and respect are the keystones to any good healthy relationship. And in this instance, none were present. There is nothing a woman hates more than not knowing what is going on. Which is the reason why lack of communication can lead us to believe all kinds of things. When a little honesty would solve so many problems. It has to be dealt with, but only the angry person can let it go, just like any other unhealthy habit.
As you know, my ex was a narcissist and from experience I can tell you that these are the worst kinds of assclowns!
You described my ex to a T. On a good day things were fabulous, but on a bad one I just wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere.
They will abuse you and destroy read more little self esteem you have and then blame you when things go wrong.
This poor girl is lucky to have escaped from him! Once she can move on and begin to fall in love with herself, she will see that.
She was and is not a friend. We all need to surround ourselves with positive, caring, respectful people—not these kind of people! That was so out of order!