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4 Jan Welcome to /r/OkCupid — a place for all things online dating, critiques, advice, and the weird little community we've built here. ▻ Rules. Do not post identifying information! Blur out the faces of anyone who isn't you. Censor any name that is not yours. You can post your own profile, but you cannot post. 4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever. As a child of the Internet and confirmed weirdo, imagine my relief when they finally took that last bastion of in-person awkwardness -- dating -- to my laptop instead. I've been using one of the major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five years now. Save. 4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever | hookuptime.me

There's an attempted suicide every 38 seconds. This is one of those attempts; and, even though it ends well, it's pretty terrifying.

I'm going to explain the Donald Trump phenomenon in three movies. But if the very first line said "I like cheese! That she got that many messages and the types of messages is indicative of nothing in that context. In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet of being truly horrible:

It takes a lot of patience, a subtle touch, and a big heart to dissuade even a single jumper. Unless you have kids or still are oneyou probably stopped paying much attention to movie ratings a while back, but they're actually the secret gatekeepers of Hollywood.

That is the mighty power of the television click With enough time and a copy of Adobe Premiere, you can make Mr. Rogers look like a blood-drinking psychopath.

It really does get convoluted. I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it.

Cracked 4 Things I Learned From The Worst Online Dating Profile Ever

I did not accomplish my goal. The TSA couldn't protect you from a 6-year-old with a water balloon. What are my qualifications for saying that? My name is Rafi Sela, and I was the head of security for the world's safest airport.

Here's what your country does wrong. Disney really needs to do their research. Not the fun children's movie you remember when you think about it. Beneath the dime-store special effects and Louis Gossett Jr. We like to think that we're pretty astute when it comes to figuring out if someone is wearing a costume.

Cracked 4 Things I Learned From The Worst Online Dating Profile Ever

We know that Big Bird isn't a real bird and that Grimace isn't a real whatever it is that he's supposed to be. But then there are times when people have been fooled by the dumbest disguises imaginable, raising the question of whether any of us are ever actually paying attention. When I was a kid, I acted in a few movies. It was generally a good experience, but every day I'm glad I wasn't Olsen twins famous.

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Not many child stars make it out of Hollywood alive or sane, and at any given time there are at least three former ones having very public breakdowns. But why does this happen? If you're going into battle, you've got two wardrobe options: Here are some movie scenes you could have sworn were CGI'd but were instead all acted out in real life.

Humanity has been looking out into space for thousands of years, and the most important thing we've discovered over that time is that everything is crazy weird out there, and it just keeps getting weirder.

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Some people might think that acting is the easiest job in the world. And that might be true, if you're a really shitty actor. But if you want to get good at it? Well, you have to be a little crazy. Remember the last time you taught a pet to do a simple trick like sit or roll over?

Depression is feeling like it's already been eaten. As we've talked about before, the food industry is based almost entirely on a series of lies that, quite frankly, most of us just prefer to believe "'All natural? I think you're missing the point.

Hours of coaxing, promises of treats, all to get an animal to do something that's ultimately pointless? Well, we're about to severely squash your sense of accomplishment, because apparently you could've spent that time doing something far more impressive, but still completely pointless.

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Here are more old-school holiday ads that make us wonder what the hell the past was thinking. If you're reading this, hopefully it means that you are intent on doing what it takes to survive in a world full of such drivers by being just a little more careful. So for you, here are some advanced tips that everyone should know, even if most people don't.

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